i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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