Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
