you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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