I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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