Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
