I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
