he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's blow job season.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
