Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
