Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
