happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I party with great urgency now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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