Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
