Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
