Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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