well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
