U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
