hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
