You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
