Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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