So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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