I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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