do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
