Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
