Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Damn victory sex feels great
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
