So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
