she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
