i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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