but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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