My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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