i barfeds in our rink
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize