Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
