so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
