boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
