I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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