is your mom at the bar?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
