You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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