My nipple is on Facebook.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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