I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My vagina is very pro this idea
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
