lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
