my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
