You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
