Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
