Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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