I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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