so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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