I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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