I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
