The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you never un-have a 4some
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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