Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
