She's JV to your varsity
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
