Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
