Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
