My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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