im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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