Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
