lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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