guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
