Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
