Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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